10 Ways to Be Irritating at Work.

Just a light hearted look at irritating people who might work in an office near you. Sources: The Office, places where I have worked.

1. Boss Pleaser.

A Boss pleaser will dress like his boss. He will found out what the interests of his boss are; even if it is building model trains the eager to please worker will develop a fascination with the latest Hornby 00 model. He will drop into conversations flattery and false impressions of being interested in model railways. – Anything to win the favour of the boss. You can see the insincerity of this approach, but the really annoying thing is that the boss falls for it every time.

2. I’ll Be Getting a Much Better Job Soon Anyway.

You’ve been working away in an office for 5 years, you know it’s not the best job in the world but the last thing you need is some smart alec college graduate who has only taken the job temporarily before he gets ‘A high flying job in the city’ The spoilt grad spends his 6 weeks saying he will soon be leaving this ‘dead end job’ and ‘dead end company’ If you had any illusions about the nature of your job, this temporary worker will make it very clear for you.

3. Office Pedant

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be pedantic but, the stapler really doesn’t live on this desk does it?”

The office pedant will see problems where there are none. Minor breaches of office etiquette became battlegrounds of supreme importance. It doesn’t matter if you lose out on orders worth £100,000, it is more important that you get the colour scheme of your filing system correct. There is no way to beat the office pedant, there will always be some minor infraction – paper clip out of place, health and safety, missed internal deadline – the list is endless. Don’t try appealing to common sense, this will really drive them crazy.

4. Claim Credit for Things They Didn’t Do.

A lazy worker is not so bad, but, when they start claiming credit for things they didn’t do, they become positively irritating. Some workers have a remarkably short memory, they will allow other people to think of ideas, work hard and then at just the right moment will come into the picture and claim it was their own idea from start to finish. Not only that, but often they are ideas they opposed. But, when they see that they work, they want to see them as their own. This could be your boss or it may be someone from another department. It’s difficult to deal with because you have to either ignore it or descend to their level and battle to point out how they actually had nothing to do with it.

5. Criticise Other People

Sometimes, it’s hard not to find some faults with people. But, nobody needs the professional critic. The critics will always be pointing out the faults major or minor, with everyone from office cleaner to Chief Executive office. The only person they don’t criticise is themselves (who of course is perfect)

6. Patronising.

“well, you have good intentions, but…
“With respect, I think…”
“Thank – you, if you leave it on my desk, I will have a look in due course…
“That’s very good, now can you go and make me a cup of tea, lov”

Some bosses specialise in being patronising. No matter what you or they say, you can’t help but come away with a feeling of being as insignificant as an ant.

7. Trying to be 20 Years Younger than you actually are.

Your balding, fat, boss is 55 years old, but, he will try his utmost to be hip and cool. It is just embarrassing, but, the boss seems completely oblivious to the fact, he is never going to convince anyone he is a cool 28 year old.

8. The Ideologue

The ideologue is sure of his beliefs and he wants to share them with you. The ideologue may seem quite normal, even pleasant. But half way through conversations, you will suddenly hear something like

“I was deciding which colour folder to use, when I thought – ‘well, what would Jesus, choose?”

It’s not just religious evangelicals, it may be the office environmentalist who catches you throwing a scrap of paper into the waste paper bin, rather than the recycling box. “The world is going to end, and people can’t even be bothered to put paper in the recycling bin.”

It may also be the fanatical political nut. You can’t mention the weather without the topic turning to politics

“It’s bit a cold today isn’t it?”

“Yes, and the cost of heating has shot up because of the neo-con imperialist policies of Bush and Blair. It’s a disgrace 6 million people are now in fuel poverty. The government have completely let down the ordinary worker. They think only of themselves….” (I was only making polite conversation…)

9. No friends outside of work.

The no friends outside of work often lack basic social skills. You go to ask a simple question about a report, and before you know it you’re enduring a 15 minute monologue of how they spent the weekend rebuilding their 10 year old fence (it had 8 feet foundations and were re-built using reinforced tensile steel bolts you are pleased to learn…)

10. Not as Funny as they Think

Some people think they are born comedians, but, actually they are not. Nevertheless, you still have to listen to their tired routines of (usually slightly offensive) jokes.